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| haven't written on this in a while but LAST NIGHT WAS THE INCUBUS CONCERT. one of my life goals accomplished and i will never forget it. It was amazing opened with quicksand/a kiss to send us off they did a cover of stand by me that was really good, played wish you were here what i really wanted to hear didn't play pardon me or stellar;( and people were kind of upset over that but i was happy just being there. brandon boyd is a god and is probably one of the best singers ever live. his voice is amazing. he is amazing. went with josie and allison had decent seats ahhhh so good i still can't believe i went! now i am at daddy's office tonight is kate's b-day dinner becasuse she is turning 18 tomorrrow is oar/liz's bday pretty exciting last few days. i have a really cute shirt for oar that i am excited to wear from pitaya we are going with me allison josie kate lindy colin and peter maybe louie?? i am so glad that this summer we met liggett/u of d boy(s) they are the nicest people i have ever met and i really don't know who i would hang out with if we hadn't been introduced to each other. how sweet. lets see what else month till i leave for college scary i don't want summer to end and actually i don't want to leave for college i love having a schedule of getting up at 8 going to school eating lunch leaving school i like having a regimen in which i have to follow i really am going to miss gps but i know that i will grow to like western even if it is known as a 'dumb' college whatever im still planning on transfering to msu next year and somehow moving to california life goal. i better get back to organizing this binder that has taken me two days ahhh | | |
| bored and don't feel like doing my homework. i actually did the best i have ever done in school this quarter besides first quarter freshman year so tht is nice for me. if only i could have focused and gotten these grades when it counted. then i wouldn't be going to western. whtever it's just a year but i feel like when i tell people that i am going to western they think party and you're very stupid because anyone can get in there. well for me i can't go anywhere else. i didn't want to go to some small private school in the middle of nowhere that just isn't me! and it is to expensive for both of us to go out of state so that is out of the question. i'll make the best of it i hope it will be fun. today allison was "sick" had a sore throat i guess. got to school but me and hillary didnt feel like going so we sat in my car for three minutes but then decided we should just go because mommy would get mad at us. so i was way late to math first hour. mr underwood was back yay i dind't like mr bershback teaching us he went way too fast. 2nd hour humanities would have done better on the test of i would have studied more bad move on my part. i still need about 100 more pts for taste of the arts. i really want to see disturbia. shia is a babe and i can also get points for film lit and humanities so that is a plus. 3rd hour physics new groups blah jon austin and mario something did white boards on illusions pretty basic i dont really mind that class NO ONE is in it. 4th ceramics SOOOOOOOO frustrated with ceramics i just can't make anything on the wheel anymore its so frustrating. i need to work out my arms to become good at the wheel i think omar is so good cause he is so strong. 5th hour psychology worked on our overviews for the test i really like mrs nardone she is such a good teacher and i feel really comfortable in that class. 6th hour film lit watched rear window the whole hour ugh was informed that i was going to be in the senior video kill me embarasssing i haaaaaate those kind of things i dont know why its just so embarassing for me. like josie was like i dont mind the camera for me its like weird idk. 7th hour nothing watched this pretty good movie called maria full of grace and had a ramon. mmkay is so annoying she just idk i cant stand that girl its not cause of jimmy either because i hve no interest in him at all anymore its just EVERYTHING she does just bothers me for example i was talking to greg and shes yelling his name from across the room. its like umm we're talking you rude bitch. and im also sick of the mexico girls talking about what else mexico i know you're excited but try to keep it on the dl when you're around me. allison told me today theyare all having a reunion at tcby how presh but ahhh! its just like a slap in the face i know they aren't purposely trying to be mean but its just sooooooo annoying tolisten to. its like bragging about something over and over again right in front of someones face. nothing after school came home watched oprah/real world. decent stuff did psychology ate quesadillas for dinner yummy now im tired of typing..peace | | |
| i haven't written in this forever but i'm bored so why not. lets see whats new in my life, nothing. yesterday i made a cake with josie but then we never baked it we just ate some of the batter it is heaven on earth it was cherry chip cake. then watched return to oz. then talked for a really long time kate came over also. low key night but it was fun. today i have done nothing i have to babysit at seven. went to church at 4:30. went over to matts before that for a little while tommy was there played this guitar game and watched basketball. i miss hanging out with him. oh yeah and today is st patricks day woopee. and i get to babysit till midnight! sadies is coming up soon, already have a cool dress that was really cheap so that is good, already have shoes to wear so im all set pretty good for me i usually dont have something until the week before. i dont know if sadies will even be fun i always build up dances to be fun then they aren't so much. so we'll have to wait and see. in hmm 2 weeks next weekend we might go up with kate to michigan for round two im hoping. then the week after is spring break with my family yeehaw thats pretty much it. | | |
| my life is over, i got flat out rejected to state. its so embarassing. i didn't think i was stupid. guess i am. i feel like i deserve this though. this is the worst feeling i have ever had in my life. while all of my friends next year are going to be leaving for the colleges of their dreams im going to be stuck going somewhere taht im dreading even thinking about it. i am so upset i cant even think. | | |
| i needed somewhere to write and this is a good place because no one reads this
i don't remember ever being this sad in my life
i think i was too young when my cousin died if that happened now i would still be crying. i think when i was little i blocked out the emotion and didn't want to think about it. i remember breaking down and crying during class when mrs mcshane asked me about what happened and i was embarassed i guess of crying ??/? who knows i dont even know
but now that this has happened im reliving some of the feelings that i felt during matthews death, which ios coming up as 5 years sicne it happened to him march 4- then match 9 he died
and with danny i loved that kid. i thought he was the cutest sweetest kid on the planet. i remember meeting him in the 9th grade and he was in the 7th grade at alison sturms house. wearing a lacoste trucker hat and wanting to teach us how to play lacrosse. later throughout the year he used to talk to me online and be like just wait till i get to highschool you're going to be too cool with all of your friends and we'd be like just wait and now the time came and it was stopped so suddenly by a mistake that he made. at football games he would always run up to me and give me a hug and just make an effort to be nice and caring. i remmber peter running up to danny ..thinking i didn't know him i was just obssesed..and saying lauren wants you.. doesn't say a word to peter runs over to me and gives me the biggest hug in the world kind of in your face peter. i didn't really ever have the chance to tlk to danny a whole lot this year just a few little waves in the hallway now and then which i now regret not doing more of because the times i would talk to him he was always sooo nice and never had anything tobad to say
god.
i cannot believe he has gone no not danny not the popular athletic good looking blonde hair blue eyes danny pogue why do bad things have to happen to good people.... | | |
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